However, the biggest problem with polyamory is also the major problem with monogamy, and that problem, as always, is people. Polyamorists and monogamists alike fall prey to the delusion that their rules are the only proper way to organise relationships, and if we could all just stick those rules, no one would ever have to get their heart broken ever again. If only it were so simple. The truth is that there is no magic set of rules for love, sex and home economics that works for everyone – and that’s why it’s so important that there are other options out there. Radio 4 predicted that monogamy would lose its “moral monopoly” within 10 years. Bring it on, I say.
As for flirtation, it gives to Benjamin’s moment of hesitation a bipedal dynamic. It is an endless closing and opening or oscillation between two positions: flirtation is the ‘act of taking hold of something only in order to let it go again, of letting it fall only to take hold of it again, in what could be called the tentative turning something on which the shadow of it’s own denial already falls’
new band music stuff coming in 2014